- DayQuil on an empty stomach makes me sound like Ethel Merman when I sing.
- never offer to carry someone else’s baggage. Your luggage rack only has room for your own.
- i can not bear to listen to my own recorded voice.
- when did Christianity become the one true faith?
- if your kid is taking a lot of solo walks, chances are he is walking with a girl.
- i don’t miss playing soccer as much as I thought I would
- what kind of world turns a blind eye to a regime who removes the organs of their own people as a form of torture.
- i stand with Planned Parenthood. If you think that they should be defunded, I would love to have a conversation. I fear you may not know all of what they really do and what health care will be left for people in places where PP are the only place they have.
- jalepeno infused margaritas are everything.
- sufjan stevens can sing to me when I write any day.
- And one to grow on: I always love hearing that something I have written resonates with people. I am no better than anyone else. I am no icon of truth. I just speak from my heart and most of the time I am really just talking to myself. I strive to remind myself and anyone who cares to listen that we are not so very different. We all start this life pure of heart. we meet trouble along the way. It changes who we are. This, my darlings, is the meaning of life. To drag yourself, no matter what crosses your path, to the finish line. To do so in a way where when you look back over your shoulder, you realize despite the hurdles, that you have had happiness. That despite the tears, you have found grace. That you have offered of yourself that which you found to be sacred. That you have availed your shoulders when they felt particularly broad to another whose burden seemed greater than themself. This is what it is to live.
By e on September 21, 2015
By e on September 16, 2015
you can not fix a broken man. Any attempt to make him whole costs pieces of yourself. Ones you need to maintain your loving strength. He is worthy of love. And will find love when he does the work himself. This letter is to you, not him. life can be so hard. Most people wear masks to protect themselves. In hiding their hurt, they hide who they truly are. It is inevitable that you will see their true selves eventually. When you do you will be disappointed. Whatever you do, don’t be so hard on yourself. You, heart on your sleeve girl. You, warts and all girl. True love still takes work. Lots of investment, but it fits like puzzle pieces. True love is not leaving notes in a suggestion box and hoping that they are read. It’s knowing and being known in your bones. It’s laughing AND crying together. It’s showing up when you’d rather hide. Showing up when you are needed. It’s being present because you can’t imagine anywhere else you’d rather be, not because you were told to be. True love is not perfect. It has hair in its ears. It leaves food in the sink. But some day you will find a person who gives more than they take. Who loves YOU warts and all. Who, smiling, shakes their head at the fact that you can’t find your way out of a paper sack. Then takes your hand and shows you the way. Don’t settle for anything else. Life it too long and too difficult to have to constantly teach your partner how to love you well. Wait for that person who looks into your eyes and sees your soul. Who lets you see theirs. Wait for the person who sets down their mask. Who lets you in. You may not be whole either. I know that you are not. True love will fill those pieces in your heart made by the rest of the world and you will do the same for them.
You are worth it!E
By e on September 2, 2015
We’ve all heard this said before. Never have I been greater witness to its truth than recently. My girl, The Goose it not a “yes” girl. She is a “road less traveled” a “do not go gentle into that good night” girl. We have never needed to cultivate her passion. It has oozed from her very soul from the moment we locked eyes. She has never waited for brass rings to reveal themselves. She has quietly kept her head down and made her own opportunity.
Recently I made a public plea to help her find a way to her dream that is just outside of her grasp. You rallied. You created a “red tent” for my girl. Through offerings of work, beautiful words of encouragement, and quiet constant presence. You have helped us to teach her that there is no greater support than that of good women. You have all played a part. It is because of you that she has witnessed something that was not plain to me until I was much older. That is, the power of the matriarch. That women holding women up to their greatness is magic. You have shown her what we do best. It is because of you that she will go into the world and provide this magic for other girls.
Above all, you have taught her that it does not take a piece of us to hold another woman up. Through well placed pedestals, we all stand just a bit taller. She may not have the confidence to thanks you herself. She may not have the language. She may be too hyper-focused on her goal to show her gratitude.
Please know that I see you. My heart has grown with this gift.
We are so very blessed.
We are the luckiest.E
By e on July 27, 2015
1) Wouldn’t it just be double your efforts? Why are we now saying re-double your efforts?
2) The bug believes trumps hair to be a toupee, I argued he could buy a better toupee
3) My kid makes yummy udon
4) It’s creepy when etsy shops use mannequins to sell their hats. I won’t buy a hat from a mannequin head
5) There are no longer chat rooms. According to my 14 year old there is no forum that have replaced them. His tone inferred that I was an idiot for asking
6) True love is petting your cat even when you are playing a timed game.
7) People only know you by the face you show to the world
8) Having a big heart doesn’t cost a thing
9) Watching stubby hubs hunk “high kick” may be my favorite thing in the universe
10) good acoustics make all the difference.
And one to grow on:
Navigating tragedy can be like skipping through a mine field. There are expectations even if unvoiced of how we are to act in the face of death. You must be sad, but not for too long. You must only remember the departed in a favorable light. If you can not exhibit positive honesty then you must remain silent. There is no room for for criticism of the choices the dead made before they found themselves that way. Not out loud. You must paint only with light pale water colors or not at all. I support you in your sorrow. My heart breaks for your pain. I will do my best to love you through it. Anything more would be disingenuous and we all deserve better than that.
By e on July 17, 2015
I sit immersed in cicada song
Kittens watch humming birds float above trumpet vine
Breeze blows honeysuckle breeze
Summer brings my curls to coiled bounce
All is green and lush
Pangs of white and pink and burnt sunrise
In the distance a siren calls
I am blessed that all my chicks are tucked under house’s wing
That all of this should be here
Sat in high padded chair to marvel at the beauty that is mine to hold dear
That I have this and am loved in return is the greatest gift
My eyes fill with the gratitude of it
My heart presses against its cage
This, the overwhelming sense of home
By e on July 15, 2015
Today is my mother’s BIG birthday. The beginning of another decade. My family is not usually one to celebrate birthdays in a big way. Time together. A small gift. Maybe a meal. Yet, stubby hubs hunk and I couldn’t help but look back, when honoring my mother this year, over all of the birthdays we have celebrated together. How in these years we have cultivated a life. Made our own family. Have grown people whose company we enjoy. They are smart. Funny. Good human beings. We are so so proud. Now for the shocking bit, our babies will both be attending high school this year. A time in our own lives that we both still remember well. I remember being my 14 and 16 year old self. I made friendships in those years that I have maintained in the time since. Even more shocking: when stubby hubs hunk and I started dating, my wee brother and sister (buddy and bird) were the same age as our children are now…..these two wonderful souls who have gone on the educate themselves, travel, make families of their own, in what, if I allowed it, could feel like a blink of an eye. To that line of thinking, our children will be in Buddy and Bird’s shoes in another blink. When you look over the years it feels similar to the clicking of a “view master” every frame a place you have visited and remember well. Each wheel of pictures making up the history of you. Added together making a life. I am the luckiest.
Happy birthday Mommy! Ya done good kid…
By e on July 13, 2015
1)Pulp fiction is a great movie, there are some cringe worthy bits while watching it with your kid
2) Loved that the LPGA was here but now know ,from all who have gone, that golf is not a spectator sport
3) Rooster Street Provisions make some banging burgers
4) There are few days that can’t be fixed by chamomile tea, a hot bath, and clean sheets
5) Some friends are more like family
6)Sometimes it’s better to listen than to be heard
7) My children are some of my favorite people
8)Always remain open
9) Just say no to crocs, please I beg you
10) winking is not my favorite thing. There are times when a well placed wink makes sense. Unfortunately, it’s hard to stop winking once you’ve started.
And one to grow on:
Reconciliation isn’t always about being heard. Sometimes in order to move on, you have to be the one to let things go. An example of choosing to be happy over winning.
By e on July 2, 2015
They are burning churches and you talk of flags. Waving swastikas and bars and stars hurt our souls but not nearly as much as the loss of God’s house. What you call pride, I call bragging. A flagrant reminder of a playing field that is unleveled to your pink skinned benefit. A boy calling wolf nowhere near the wooded wilderness. It’s apples and oranges and your fruit bowl is fully stocked with both. You call attention to your bug bite problem like it rates with the gaping wound that is being a person of color in this country. You may have suffered, you may have faced tragedy it is simply that your lowest low still rates above the common day of many others. So how about you stop whining, be grateful, and truly do something to better this country you pledge to love.
By e on June 19, 2015
Ok white America, where is your outrage? This most recent race driven massacre has nothing to do with the police. You can not Google search for the fallen’s arrest records by way of defending violence done to them. There is no room for quips. There is no argument. These were unarguably 9 beautiful souls. 9 leaders in their communities. 9 people who had, and having been given a chance, would continue to make huge ripples of change in our world.
The fatherless sons you turn your nose up at for having fallen in with the wrong crowd could have been mentored by Tywanza Sanders. He was a young man, a beacon for what being a black man from the south can look like if you follow God.
Sharonda Coleman-Singleton was a mentor, a high school track coach, a reverend and, a mother of three.
Rev. Clementa Pinckney was a South Carolinian senator.
Cynthia Hurd was a librarian and managed the St Andrews public library. She was the matriarch of her family.
Myra Thompson was a vicar’s wife and very active in the Anglican Church. She had been teaching bible study at the “Mother”.
Ethel Lee Lance was a grandmother who had worked in the the church for 30 years.
Daniel Simmons was a member of the ministerial staff and a grandfather.
Depayne Middleton-Doctor was a reverend at the church sand in the choir and had 4 daughters she worked as an admissions coordinator at Southern Wesleyan University, but spent the majority of her adult career as the director of community for development block grant program.
Susie Jackson was a matriarch of both her family and her church. She was a trustee of “Mother” Emanuel and had been a member of their choir.
They were slain in God’s house where we should all feel the most safe. I will not honor the waste of biological material who committed these acts by repeating his “reasons” for this abhorrent act of violence. I will say, do you believe us now? Racism is alive and well in our country. Hate by US for THEM. It runs through our American veins.
It makes me sick. It makes me feel broken. It makes me feel so so sorry. So yes, I will call you love when I hand you your cup of coffee. I will do this so you know I do not fear you. I love you as my neighbor as I have been instructed to do. I call you love so you will see that the color of my skin does not determine my view of the world. I call you love, in the hopes that you will feel this safe place to fall, if only for a minute, in a day that must feel full of barbs and razor wire. I call you love in an attempt to make the ripples that were fostered by the 9 big lives stolen in Charleton.
Go now in peace may the love of God surround you everywhere you may go.
By e on June 15, 2015
1) I have a shoe problem. Companies are advertising that I NEED flats in my closet and I verbally agree.
2) My new band is called frizz zits and tits.
3) I realize that I have reached an age where no on is looking at me anyway
4) when you spill “Leo in Reo” nail polish it looks like a murder scene.
5) after taking your beloved out while playing a friendly game of passing the soccer ball on the beach, it’s best to offer condolences not shout “I got ball!”
6) in a house full of white coffee cups, go for the creamer.
7) Allen Iverson is a machine.
8) brisket ball is not a real game, but the Bug was just laboriously explaining to his grandfather that it is.
9) I love watching lightening over the ocean.
10) earplugs are a vacation essential.
And one to grow on:
Blessings come in all shapes and sizes. Embrace the breeze on a hot day as much as dodging a bullet real or figurative. The human brain is created in such a way that we are wired to count the losses with heavier weight. Grace is looking at a day of bumps and remembering the moments of smooth sailing. For every time you fall, balance it with the memory of your children laughing together. A loving cuddle with your sweet pup. Every win, no matter how tiny. The bumps help to build your broad shoulders and a strong back bone, but standing tall is hardly worth it if you forget that the freckles on your nose would not be without the days where you dared to let the sun kiss your face.