Dear property owner,
I understand how frustrating it must be owning a business in a college town. Having a loading zone so close to college apartments. Over the years you have probably tried a whole host of ways to deter people from using a space that you believe to be clearly marked. I understand this because I too have fought the battle. I have heard the excuses. I have been verbally attacked. My safety threatened. I have called tow trucks. I have called the law. I absolutely get it. My clever response was to get stickers with my company name and a “I will tow you” warning on them and lovingly place one on the car of the offender. This provided a indication of a first strike. Maybe they didn’t see my posted private property sign. This way I knew if they were a repeat offender. Next time I would call a wrecker to haul their ass away. The sticker proved to be a great deterrent.
Yesterday morning I got to work. I parked on the street that is not lit well at 6:20 in the am. I was aware of many restrictions on this street. I knew of street cleaning I was careful not to block driveways. What I couldn’t see was the faded paint of the yellow curb. What I didn’t know was that this strip of street was yours. I’m a rule follower. I do my best to be respectful. I honestly didn’t know I had done wrong. As I walked to my car eight hours later, the parking ticket on my windshield clued me in. I looked up and the sign I had mistaken for a street cleaning warning in the dim light was in fact a loading zone. Oops. Won’t park there again. It seems that wasn’t enough for you because when I reached to grab the ticket I realized it was plastered to the windshield with something gooey. I started the car and pulled away from the curb. Pulled the washing fluid lever and attempted to clean it off. Instead it emulsified the goo making it impossible to see out the front of the car. I then noticed that you had systematically sprayed some sort of grease on every window of my car. I’m sure you found it on a “how to teach a lesson passive aggressively” website. You win. I will not park there again. You’ll be happy to know that after much effort with a degreaser and a trip through the car wash your handy work still lingers. I am happy to report that I did NOT hit anyone or anything as I drove slowly, first to the gas station to wash my windows with futility, then home to get them safely clear well enough to make my way to the car wash.
I am not some entitled rich college student. The 11 year old car may have a given me away. I’m am a hard working mother of two. Who probably serves you coffee everyday with a smile. I’m sorry that you have gotten to a place where you think yours is a rational response to a one sided parking feud. I’m writing to tell you that while you may have gotten satisfaction, it was an unsafe response. May I suggest next time that you use a sharpie instead to mark your scarlet letter? Just as annoying but not as dangerous to the non-offensive parking public.
peace be unto you,
good time monkey