well i’m still here, so obviously i have been granted another day by the trash mafia. part of me hoped i would be taken in order to miss what i had promised to be present for. 6th grade field trip to the county park….to play at marine biology. translation for the monkey? to sweat like a beast and be covered in bug bites no matter how much i have prepared for the event. i like the outdoors, i really do. but i have to be worried about not embarrassing the goose. i haven’t quite figured out what the rules are yet, but i do try. i know that i am not allowed to apply bug spray or sun screen to her in front of her peers. i will not be referred to as mommy. i shouldn’t tell jokes. or cackle. or laugh demurely behind my hand. or let people know that i belong to her. or that i have don king hair. or that i sweat like a man.
this could be tough, but i will rise to the occasion. i will do my best to do my duty….giggle i said duty. awe hell, who am i kidding. i’m totally going to piss her off buy doing something.
i’m gonna let this sweaty, big haired, breathing, goose related, mommy, freak flag fly.
they say it builds character….she is well on her way to being the most characterlicious girl child known to man.E