i never fancied myself a daddy’s girl. i think that my father and i are far too alike to allow for that sort of thing. i was a far too independent, spirited child being raised by an independent spirited father. never mind a weak filter, my father and i were simply built with this piece missing. I now know that parenting a child that is much like you makes you want to save them from the potholes you couldn’t side-step in your own youth. The lack of filter means we don’t always diplomatically share these worries. As a kid I told him when he was being unreasonable and he told me when I wasn’t reaching my potential. It wasn’t easy. Now I see it wasn’t easy for either of us. It’s amazing how a new perspective can change the truth. I grew up thinking that he had unrealistic expectations. I realize now that he was just trying to save me from myself ( a life long pursuit).
In middle age (OMG I’m middle aged!) I have found a friend in my dad. Somewhere along the way I stopped seeing him as “heavy-handed” and started seeing him as one of my greatest cheerleaders. I’m sure we have both changed a bit since I was 8 but I think our perspective is what has made the biggest difference. I turned out ok, so he could stop worrying that I may not turn out ok. Now, as adults who are very similar, we seem to get on more seamlessly. We both love to make people laugh and we think each others are quite funny. A match made in maturity. We both would benefit from a disclaimer. Something along the lines of, ” disregard just about everything this person says. Try to hear the intent of what they are saying.” though our delivery may be (usually is) harsh, our aim is always true. We don’t much care for the phone but always strive to get the last word by text ( not an easy task. Even acquiescence demands a response). Most importantly, I like him. I like him and I know he really likes me. I look forward to the Friday text asking if I can play. Or the call when he and my mother are on their way out of town for another “a” (we don’t call them adventures because bad things happen when we do.)
He jokes that when he retires he’s going to drive his four kids crazy.
I wouldn’t be bothered at all.