My children have never seen me cry. I’m just not really a crier. I came home from the gym today to the sounds of the goose’s yodeling her anger song at the bug. He was popping bubble wrap to the tune of YMCA. No small feat if you were to ask me. I talked her off the ledge as I have learned to do. The bug shouted up to see if she wanted a hotdog. As could be predicted her first answer was no. When I asked her if that’s really what she meant, she again said no. So the bug went about making lunch for them both. The goose and I cuddled in bed watching the sing off. The bug called up that lunch was ready. I pleaded with her to tell him thank you for making her lunch. I started to weep. I couldn’t help myself. I blurted out that my friend is dying. She responded “that sucks”. I ignored that she used a phrase I’d rather she not use and just said, “yep”. Because that’s exactly what I had thought too. I told her that no matter how crazy the bug makes her, she knows that he would do anything for her if she needed him. That’s what family does.
I think if I knew I was leaving this world, I could do so much more readily if I believed that my children understood how important they were to each other. I am thankful that I am here. I am thankful that tomorrow my house will be filled with the people I love most. That we will eat and drink and laugh. That we will go around the table and say what we are most thankful for. I know they think it’s cheesy, but I don’t care. I make them do it anyway. It’s important to me that we all look around the table and take a minute to absorb how lucky we all are. We are not alone, we are not hungry, and most days we are happy. Who knows maybe someone will even say that she is thankful to have a brother that will make her a hotdog.
This thanksgiving I wish for our friend to find peace. I wish for her boys to learn to move forward, but to never leave her behind. They are who they are because of the woman that she has been. There is much to be learned from our friends in crisis. I can only hope that when I am faced with such devastation I can meet it with as much grace.
Happy Thanksgiving to you all.