It’s a game of duck duck goose. Only you would never choose to be the goose. In fact if you are chosen you would give anything to remain sitting in the circle. Cancer doesn’t care if you have babies to raise, or haven’t had a chance to know what it is to be called mommy. It doesn’t care that you were dance captain, or still have standing records for your state in track and field. It doesn’t care if you always ate your leafy greens and drank your acai. Cancer can’t even make you a promise not to return. It leaves you hanging. Leaves you looking over your shoulder as you try to vacuum up each minute of everyday. It makes you lose trust in your own body. Cancer tests your faith, if not in god, then perhaps in yourself.
Cancer has taken from me the ability to find a silver lining. To rally for my friends afflicted. It’s stolen my words. Me…the one who can Pollyanna her way out of any tight corner. Cancer has made me feel helpless and angry, very very angry. You never hear of cancer striking someone down as they are hijacking a plane or robbing a bank. No that would be ridiculous, because cancer doesn’t feed on naughty. Cancer wants pink and healthy and mommies and dearest friends. Strong vibrant people who haven’t lived nearly long enough.
I know superwoman. Many of us do. She fought the cruel invader and she won. What of my other friend. She was no less worthy of a title. She has super powers too. She has a big job left to do. Cancer doesn’t care. It sat her in the circle and made her be goose again.
Cancer is an asshole.