fact or fiction

so often i’ll have a thought that is based in fact and then i will follow that up with some goofy fictional response to it.  i know this probably sounds strange, but welcome to the mind of a genius (fiction).  sometimes i’ll even think of a whopper first and then dial is down to fact.  i know right, it’s so clever…sigh…ok maybe more like the monkey on the wheel, but if you can’t turn it off you might as well make a game out of it.  sometimes fact is just so different from what you anticipated, it’s just ridiculous enough to share.

fact:i love running at the gym on the treadmill that has the tv & mirror in front of it.  it makes me look like a headless body running.

fiction: sometimes i pretend the headless person is a hottie running toward me.  the fact that he/she is wearing the same color shirt as i am ruins it, but only a little. 

fact: wore one of those tennis skirts to the gym today, because i thought i would look more feminine.

fiction: i didn’t pick my wedge once

fiction: while playing soccer i see myself as a lanky gazelle, gracefully running across the the savannas.
fact: i look more like a humming bird on a feeding frenzy in a wind storm
fiction: the rats will be happy to be in the bath tub while i clean out their cage.
fact: i open the bathroom door to see these little heads intermittently popping over the rim of the tub in a frantic attempt at escape.
fiction: i leave the house and i am 5’8″ and lean.  my hair is like silk.  my boobs are round.  my legs are shaved.  i remembered to put on perfume.
fact: i walk past the mirrors in the gym and i look more like the “little” person in the circus that can lift 2 times their weight.  my hair looks like it met with electricity this morning and it didn’t come from a flat iron.  my boobs look like 2 really long tube socks thrown over the laundry line that is my sports bra elastic.  i’ve been married for 13 years and shaved legs may be construed as an invitation to the dance…and i don’t mean zoomba.  do we really need to review the sniffer story? 

i’m a switch hitter…i guess    (in case you missed it)

fact: i think i’m funny

fact: most people just roll their eyes,

e

2 responses to “fact or fiction”

  1. LisaB

    Fiction: This was a nice little post.

    Fact: You are one funny-assed Dushies with gobs of creativity. :)

  2. EH Shuba

    thanks doll.

    and you are one in the same pootie pie

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