i have a friend who i can honestly say is a good girl. i know at first blush that may sound condescending. i, in no way, mean it to be. in my life, i have been called many things, a good friend, a good daughter,a good mother. i have NEVER been , nor will i probably ever be called a good girl. i care about the feelings of the people around me, but not at the expense of my own.
so, my friend, was hosting a birthday party for her daughter at the pool where we both belong. my girl was invited, so i was sitting near but not with her and her family. Her sister and brother-in-law arrived. at the time my friend was flitting around making sure that her daughter’s guests needs were being met. she came back to the table where her family was seated, only to be harrassed by them. her father shoved his empty beer cup at her. evidently, urging her, wordlessly to serve him yet another. her brother-in-law says at the top of his voice, in a sarcastic tone, how nice it is to have the hostess waiting on him, concidering that he had made the long drive to the party even though she never affords him the same courtesy. as she moved away from the group, i walked to her and have her a hug and whispered in her ear, “you are a lovely host and he is an ass.”
“yep”, she said,” he is, but i think he just doesn’t know how to act when he is nervous. i think he thinks he is being funny.”
“well,you’re really good at letting it roll off of you”, i said. “i don’t know if i could keep my mouth shut.”
the more i thought about it, though, the more i realized that i was kidding myself. we all have people in our lives who probably don’t hurt our feelings on purpose, yet manage to all the same. those people who think they are “helping” or being “funny”. once you realize the reasons for why they act as they do, it’s easier to let it all ride.
all the same, sometimes it feels really nice to have some one on the outside of things say, “you are good, and people notice.”