I will be the first to admit, happily even, that I have a very immature sense of humor. It all comes down to body parts and poop. Perhaps it’s our vulnerability with regard to these topics that make it all so funny. Maybe I never grew out of the anal phase. Either way we can’t help what hits our funny bone.
In my year and a half of being a pusher of coffee I have not managed to transcend one item on the menu. I can’t really say this drink without giggling. I believe conversation is the best way to excise demons. My coffee demon is….the steamer. It’s warm milk with any flavor of your choosing. Generally something ordered for a child in which case I have been unable to talk my way through the steamer. There is one fella who has become a semi-regular (see, even that made me think of poop) He’s tall, rugged looking, maybe mid forties. He orders a toasted marshmallow steamer. I quickly avert my gaze. This does not go unnoticed by my coworker, sketchy Jeff. You’re trying not to giggle aren’t you, she asks. A window is cracked open. I look up at the rugged man. He looks inquisitive. The window is thrown all the way up. Did you grow up with brothers in the house, I ask him. Yes, he responds in a question. I wait looking for the realization to dawn on him. Nothing. Instead of doing what most would and leave it at that, I press on. Well, in my house a steamer was poop. Huh, he stumbles, nope pretty sure that’s not what my brothers called it. I respond patently with, well then they were doing it wrong. I think I have charmed him, but it’s a fine line between that and a desperate need to cut a run. Our financial transaction complete, he walks from the counter. Upon completion of the making of his drink, I walk it over to him. Doing what I do when things get weird, which is to keep talking. I hand him his drink. He’s standing with another regular, the silver fox. I lead with, we need to give this drink another name. I wait while rugged man explains to silver fox my issue with steamer. Silver fox laughs, I’ve had him in my pocket for months. I’m thinking, nap in a cup? No? How about hot granny I offer? They are both laughing at me not with my I’m sure. Undeterred I soldier on. That would be GILF. They both look confused.
Grannie I’d like to…… Rugged man says ok, but will everybody know what I mean when I order a GILF? I assured him that it will be done.
I’m thinking he never comes back or he orders a hot chocolate next time.