It’s four am and I’ve been up much of the night unable to sleep. For the first time since I can remember I’m not up because I’m stressed, because I have to tend to a child, or that I was having so much fun and haven’t gone to be yet. I’m up because I am relieved. I’ve got that “sun will come up tomorrow” feeling and I’m waiting to watch it happen.
I have always considered myself lucky to have coping skills. Not everyone is born with them, but I do believe one can learn to cope. That in an hour of darkness one can choose to soldier on and not succumb. To believe that you can muscle your way out of crisis is a talent and a gift. To be unafraid, to throw caution to the wind and say I don’t know can come with its own relief. Sometimes you just have to crank up the music and dance it out. Be unafraid to challenge that demon. To look it right in the eye and say I am bigger, stronger, and faster than you demon and you aren’t going to win. You don’t have to believe it now, but if you say it enough times and with strong enough conviction, the demon won’t know your true heart. Eventually, if you are diligent, you may even begin to believe it to be true.
No one can write the part of the hero in your life story. That is your own work. What else are you here for than to be good to those who can’t been good for themselves, to be loved, and to learn to take care of yourself?
Imagine every fairytale whose story line was the war against evil. Except for the silly princesses who are always saved by the big dummy on the horse, the hero always stands up against his foe. We read because we aren’t sure he can do it. we know he isn’t sure either. He is the little train that just keeps running up the track. “I think I can. I think I can. I think I can.” whatever you believe can be, will be. Trade in the I can’t, the maybe, the I’m not sure for a yes I can. It doesn’t begin with a roar. It just needs to be a quiet song that is ever playing in the background of your mind.
“I am my own hero.” or whatever version of that phrase that will pull you up by your bootstraps and force you to put one foot in front of the other.
Life is a never ending hill upward. Don’t forget the importance of looking over your shoulder once in a while to see how far you’ve come. To learn from the narrow escapes and the times you didn’t get away at all. And to pat yourself on the back for never giving up.
So, forgive me for getting all jack handey on you, but empowerment comes from within.
I am my own hero, and you are yours. It’s 4:45 now. Though the sun has yet to rise, I know that it will. I’m just going to keep putting one foot in front of the other. I’m just going to keep on working up that hill. I’ll write my own fairytale along the way. I’m pretty sure that you’ll be in it. Beside me. Kicking ass up your own hill. F$&@ you demons. This hero has an arsenal like you’ve never seen.