i'm a switch hitter…i guess

     so, i’m not sure why, but people think that they can say anything to me.  there must be something about me that gives people the impression that my threshold is limitless.  it might be why some have said that i am a good friend.  those people also know that i have a horrible memory, so telling me something is not unlike confession to a priest.  only i’m not the hand of god and i won’t be taking anything to my grave.  i just won’t have any recollection of the secret a couple hours after hearing it.  

    that explains people who know me.  what about perfect strangers?  the easy answer is that i have a few tattoos and everybody know that people with tattoos have no morals and are uneducated malcontent losers.  so maybe they figure that it’s as close to jerry springer as they will get talking to me.  yeah don’t know.  today at the gym i was working out in the same vicinity as an older gentleman…maybe 65 years old.  we were alternately using the same equipment.  i was using one bench to to lat pulls, which meant that i was sitting on it.  he was using the same bench to do push ups on.  which meant that he was leaning in to the bench that i had been sitting on.  he leans in to me and says, “i was hoping i could smell you one the bench.”  hmmm, you don’t say.  as far as one liners go, i’ve heard worse.  

i always just assumed everyone thought i was a lesbian at the gym.  maybe he was trying to get me to change teams.  

ho hum………


2 responses to “i'm a switch hitter…i guess”

  1. Kristin McCormick

    OMG, people actually say things like this OUTLOUD?! How awesomely creepy. What was your response praytell?

  2. EH Shuba

    oh yes they do….to me at least.  after some give and take i told him he should be very careful, because i am a super hero

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