You meet so many people in a lifetime. I understand how people could choose to believe in fate when they meet someone who is a near perfect fit. When you stop to add up all of the choices you have made that have led you to these people, it seems improbable. Every right you took instead of left. Every time you picked up roots. Changed jobs. Was late for work. All of the changes in routine. All of the adherences to routine. Every step. If any of them were changed by four inches would you be where you are. With whom you are. Would you be you?
What I know is, today I walked the streets of a city I love. With the person I love most in this world. I held his hand. I laughed at his quips. We retold stories we had both heard a million times over. It was a beautiful day. I am blessed for this. But also because it was a beautiful day in a long line of beautiful days. In seventeen years, there have been more of these kind than the others and that makes me feel lucky.
My father says you make your own luck. That is true to a certain extent, but what about the things you have no control of. What about break ups you didn’t initiate. Moves you didn’t think you wanted. Giving up the pocket of emptiness you thought had take up permanent residence in your soul.
I didn’t make these things and still they put me in the path of my stubby hubs hunk. My best friend. My partner. The careful watchman of my heart. You have taught me patience. The importance of quiet. To be more thoughtful. Less rash. You have helped me be the mother and woman I have grown to be. I stopped being able to imagine a time without you long ago. And my future is bright as long as you are in it.