Would you hate me if I said I don’t like Christmas? I’m not Christian and we own a retail business. Understand yet? American families are SO busy anyway, add to that the holiday concerts, holiday parties, holiday greeting cards…..and the decorating. The rules about decorating for Christmas are hard fast, and I don’t know what they all are. You are supposed to get your tree thanksgiving weekend. We host thanksgiving and have a black Friday sale. Three weeks later the whole scene should be put away and forgotten about. I promise you that 3 weeks after thanksgiving I may have washed and folded the table linens from the thanksgiving meal.
The pine needles alone are enough to make my head explode. Plus, even as a kid, I never understood decorating outside when it’s cold.
This year as we were negotiating when to walk down the hill to get a tree, I quietly suggested a fake one. Stubby hubs hunk’s eyes lit up. When we had first married he thought we should get a fake tree. I, one of strong opinions, shouted, “NO WAY FAKE TREES ARE FOR LOSERS!” that’s the first I heard that he had grown up with a fake tree. To which I kindly replied, “see, loser.” ah, young love. But, now, 15 years later, the thought of a fake tree seemed brilliant. We voted on the matter. The bug was none too happy, but after some careful bribing he voted our way. The goose will tell you that she wasn’t home and thus her vote didn’t count. Too which I gloat, “majority rules baby!”
So I set about looking for a fake tree online. I know you are supposed to call them artificial, but I’m not gonna. Let’s call a spade a spade. Lest you think we are attempting to pull one over on you, we went the other way around. We never intended to get a green tree. It turns out that there are all kinds of different colored trees out there on the world wide web. We went with a silver tinsel tree….cuz they’re classy….just like us.
Well, the tree came yesterday. And after fluffing and fitting the pieces together, we set about decorating the thing. It was lovely. The bug sang Christmas carols and the goose told him to shut up under her breath.
Ah, I finally found the Christmas spirit. And it looks like this…..