yeah, i’m another year older. this doesn’t sadden me as much as it is shocks me. i still feel, except for the aching back, like i’m in my twenties. then i look in the mirror or at my family around the table and i realize that that simply CAN’T be true. i was never one who thought that i should be put up on a cloud where i could be sent one gift after another on this the day of my glorious birth. no, mostly i would be happy to get a BIG cup of hot coffee sent to me in bed. where i would like to stay and read. where i could just be given quiet for the day. hmmm, that sounds a lot like my regular sunday. yeah i’m a lucky girl.
here i am. i have just stepped into the last year of my thirties. and, as is my nature, i am reflective. a decade ago (ok, i just cried a little) my birthday stopped being about me. the year i turned 29 i was pregnant with the bug. i was due on november 21. he was going to be our thanksgiving baby. he had other plans. the evening of the 12th, ten years ago, he started knocking on the door to come into our lives. i remember sitting on our ugly brown plaid couch with my tablet out keeping track of my contractions. i even remember dinner that night. i had made a sumptuous southern meal. collards, roasted chicken, and sweet potatoes. i could only bring myself to eat the sweet potatoes. that’s when i knew he’d be here soon. for me and my body soon means two days later, but it’s my normal so you can get the look of shock off of your face. anything worth having is worth working for. let me tell you this boy of mine is so worth it. there is a sweetness in him that i can’t wait to unleash on the world at large. i’d love to take credit for the person he is, but i it feels more like a gift to me.
so, for 10 years my birthday has been special because it is a reminder. it’s an opportunity to look back at the day that our boy began his journey into our lives. i don’t need to feel special because it is the day of my birth. remembering the births of my children is a gift. those were the two days that i was my absolute best. the days that i was my most powerful. i am so grateful for the reminder.
plus, ever since i have been a “grown up” my parents have called me on the morning of my birthday. they each get on an extention of the phone and they sing happy birthday to me. they call me bethy. like they did when i was small (ok smaller). they don’t say anything. they just sing and hang up. cuz my birthday is a reminder to them of the day they first became parents too.
thanks for all of the well wishes. it is nice to know that i am read and that i am loved!E