letter to a daughter

     so, i was a tom-boy.  except my lala and angi, all of my friends we boys.  i think because of this i was always an observer in stead of a participant in the dance that girls engaged in with each other.  i never learned the rules first hand.  i just knew it looked tough.  i didn’t want to play games with people’s emotions.  girls have such a keen ability to strike you at your core.  i still don’t get what the pay off was.  

what i missed was a series of long term friendships that gave guidance to the woman i would become.  i was a loner too.  most of my childhood seems viewed from the outside looking in.  i enjoyed people, i just enjoyed watching them a bit more…..

    but this is what i do know…women are strength.  we are the force that keeps the family running and the world turning.  all girls come into this world with the power to take it over.  nothing is more sad to me than meeting a woman who has lost her power somewhere along the way of her life.   sometimes we are so quick to judge each other.  remember every one has their own story. everyone is somewhere in their life’s journey.  if you feel threatened because you sense that a woman is further than you are in your journey, redirect that energy.  figure out what can be learned from her.  conversely don’t be afraid to come with guidance for another woman that you see is struggling.  that can teach you something as well.

    the thing i have learned later in my life is that relationships with woman fuel us in ways that no other can.  teach you daughters to be open and not judgmental of other woman.  teach them that there is nothing more wonderful than the support that woman can give each other.  i realized later in life that the power that girls have to strike us at our core is the same power that can feed your soul.  don’t be afraid to lift another woman up.  don’t be afraid that it won’t be reciprocated.  don’t be afraid that you will be judged.  we teach people how to treat us.  no good deed goes unnoticed even if you are the only one looking.  

be better 

do better 

try harder 

you are perfection

your ever loving mother….. 

11 responses to “letter to a daughter”

  1. Tricia Fackler

    Elizabeth. You just articulated beautifully something that I’ve been feeling for months and more keenly in the last few days having suffered the loss of my dearest female friend. I will share this with my daughter and other women in my life. Thank you so much.

  2. EH Shuba

    i saw that you had lost your sister in law and best friend.  i am so very sorry for that loss.  i’m glad to hear that this spoke to you.  i was hoping it didn’t come off too “spice girls”.  my thoughts are with you…

  3. Jennifer Ballinger

    Wow. I needed that so much today. What a wonderful view of things! I am going to share this with the girls. Thank you. As I might have mentioned before, you rock!

  4. JEM

    hey Beth, i couldn’t agree with you more, and I learned how to be a good girlfriend much too late in life, but i am confident now that i am one of the best girlfriends a girl can have, now. Maybe motherhood has helped me with this,..this, baring of the soul and emotions,.. this hard core support that i both NEED and have the ability to lend now. It seems, i was afraid maybe, to be so exposed..?.
    I had good girlfriends growing up, certainly, …but i was always afraid to expose myself too much. i didn’t play sports,…dancing and horseback riding were solitary, for the most part- and i always wondered if sports teams or cheerleading helped girls forge that tighter bond through adolescence….? not sure. Mom never had any real close women friends….and this is something i’ve done drastically different in my adulthood.
    My friends are my strength, my iron, my blood, my tears, my joy,..and I could not imagine my life without them. HOW did i ever get along without being this trusting of myself,..of others to help me through?
    Thank you for your thoughts on this today. I give thanks and blessings for every woman in my life today. And I give thanks for you.

  5. EH Shuba

    Amen! and i thanks you right back

  6. Dushie

    In all seriousness – for the minute it took me to read your letter…..you were my mother. Thanks love

  7. js stallings

    beautiful beth, and so very right on. your kids are lucky! ~jenn

  8. EH Shuba

    aw! dushie mcdushinator…..xxx

  9. EH Shuba

    thanks jenn! i think i’m the lucky one

  10. LisaB

    Dushie Marie, you are one of the wisest women I know. I never really connected with girls….except for the Bipsy to my Bopsy (or was she the Bopsy to my Bipsy?). I was very stand-offish with girls and I did not get them….I always identified more with guys…but I was not a “tom boy”. Hell, my X said I was more of a man than he was…..

    However, WOMEN are the ones I trust and turn to. I am blessed to have so many wonderful WOMEN friends. I still love guy humor and all, but women know what I mean when I complain about the ones with dangly parts!

    HUGS on this one. :)

  11. EH Shuba

    thanks lady….you are truly too kind

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