life in a small town

     so, today i was living in a lou reed/john cale song…sort of.  it was all about life in a small town.  the girl was communing with the arts for the WHOLE day so i played taxi.  i’m sat in a corner of my favorite coffee shop reading a great book on my kindle.  the fellow across the way from me asks me if that is a kindle and how i like it.  well, see, i like it a lot, and i would really like to be reading it right now instead of telling you how much i like it.  course that’s the internal dialog.  to him it sounded like i was a sales person for the kindle.  couldn’t stop talking about how much i love the thing.  how if he was on the fence he should just jump in already.  then i start getting on my own nerves and try to figure out how i can back out of the conversation…not my strong suit.  so i just say…”yeah i love it  a lot….not that i’m a sales person or anything…and then i just start mumbling and think he probably thinks i am just having a small seizure or something….then i look at my watch and realize it’s time to get the girl.  relief was felt by all.  well me at least cause, i’m only in my head.  thank goodness.  cause if i had to be in other people’s heads too i don’t think i could make it.  i’m enough work for me. “oh my sharona”…i digress yet again.  so i go to pick up the girl at art to take her to music.  i walk in and take my place against the wall.  where i won’t be noticed, at least that’s the girl’s hope.  yeah too bad, i’m nobody’s wall flower.  so i look up and it’s my high school theater teacher who is stage managing.  the woman looks just the same.  if any of you reading this went to school with me, you know just who she is.  she was awesome, but let’s just say that rich little could have made an entire career out of duplicating her idiosyncrasies.  i go up to her and tell her who i am.  she smiles (which is nice of her, because many teachers from my past would pretend they didn’t speak english if they saw me coming) and says are you a parent?  why yes, yes i am, i say.  before i can walk away she says you can be in the band on stage.  um what?  yeah you can be in the show.  your part (because i have a part now) happens the same time as the children and you have to be here for her rehearsal anyway.  see, it’s not that i have an aversion to being on stage…not at all.  it’s just that i’m gonna have to tell the girl that i’m gonna be on stage with her.  i explain that i’ll be dressed as a man and nobody has to know it’s me in the audience.  her response. “ok, but don’t tell daddy.”  um, yeah, sure, i won’t tell him, but he might just figure it out on his own.  i’m almost starting to be embarrassed for her that i’m her mother.   ahhhhhh, life in small town.  i’m not bad skin, bad teeth, gay and a fatty, but i might as well be.  



4 responses to “life in a small town”

  1. Mary

    Is this in the same category as a “man cold”?

  2. EH Shuba

    for sure!  man sick and man clean are all symptomatic of having a dumb stick (penis).

  3. jen

    So… when’s opening night, and where can we get tickets?

  4. EH Shuba

    oy!  um….i’ll tell you that it’s the opera company…but i’m using the force on you right now so that you forget that information, unless of corse you’re only going to see my girl….

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