Today my sweet brew turns forty. I had a whole piece crafted around this fact. The most important thing to share is that I don’t remember my life before I knew his name. His sweetness and tenacity make it easy to both love him and want to pinch him. Also things I have been doing for always. You are my heart and your successes feel like my own.
Last night I was talking with my cousin. Texting really. I love to catch up with my people but I hate the phone. We spoke of the Brew’s big birthday and of the first week of school. It has been a couple of years but it feels like yesterday that we lost kate. Especially for M. They knew each other nearly as long as the brew and I and loved each other just as deeply. I know thoughts of kate are always with her. Especially this time of year. Kate was a teacher. She loved the fall and the collecting of supplies for class. When you lose someone that close to you, everything you do is balanced with the shadow of what they can no longer do. Sweet kate never turned forty. She didn’t put her three boys on a bus this week. Their mom didn’t get to ask them how their first day went. She doesn’t get to tuck them in at night.
I ask you to do one of the things you do for your kids that you find tedious with new eyes. Make school lunch for kate. Sit in the rain to watch a soccer game for kate. Bring your babies into you bed like a pile of puppies, even when you’d rather be reading alone and do it because you still can.
Nothing opens the well of gratitude like remembering that this day and all of the others you have are a gift. We have no guarantees. So say the words that have been stuck in you throat. Give the hug that you have been too caught up to give. Step out of what feels comfortable while you have the time.