Some stories NEED a disclaimer. For the record, I am not proud of myself here. In fact I think I may have looked around to see who said this before realizing it was me….
It’s a soccer story. A tale about a contact sport. Sometimes when two people are going for the ball one gets the ball and the other gets a crack to the shin. It happens. Most of the time it is sport and not malicious. There is a team in the league that most people don’t like to play. They are the worst combination of physical and cry baby. I have been hurt by this team on several occasions and yelled at by them plenty. This one takes the cake. They have a player who, in my inside voice, I have dubbed the moose. She is eleven and a half feet tall. She probably has fifty pounds on me. She NEVER pulls up. She will mow you over and take your knee out while she’s doing it. I have been caught on the wall with her on more than one occasion. I always just assumed that once she got momentum she had a hard time stopping. She IS a whole lot of woman. There was a game where that all changed. She and I went for the ball. She ran through me folding me in half. Forcing my feet in the air at her. She yelled “DON’T KICK ME.” Incredulous I said, ” you ran into me.” “No you kicked me!” she replied me. Ok here is the bit I’m not proud of…..”It’s called physics….you fucking horse!” Yeah….not my best work. And to make matters worse I was now a marked man. One of her cronies made sure to check me every time she could. Then yelled at me for being too physical. She said, “don’t you realize every time there is a call, you’re in the mix?” My reply….”so are you!”
Real grown up stuff….