the bug’s birthday was on sunday. we usually have a grandparents birthday dinner on the kids actual birthday. he was wiped out and a little under the weather so we had it last night. the gist of the grandparents dinner is that the birthday kid gets to choose the menu. the bugs choices this year were as follows (this script is pretty much verbatim)
for the first course (what 10 year old boy knows about courses? i guess we have top chef to thank) i would like artichokes with lemon butter. for second course let’s have sliders with a bunch of different toppings (his sister who was none too happy to be giving up the spotlight, requested kraut as a topping. my mother ate some too…i think she just wants to be the goose’s best friend though. uh, this week she can have her.) and twice baked potatoes (thanks to dan quayle, i’m never sure if that word has an “e” or not. thank you spell check.) for dessert i’d like a cake this year (what? a cake? i’ve gotten away with donuts and chocolate fondue all of these years. now at 10 he wants a cake? and not just any old cake.) i’d like a chocolate cake with marshmallows in the batter, because i think it will give a fluffy consistency ( ?????), raspberry sauce, and home made chocolate cream cheese icing.
ok dude, while i respect your creative palate, I HATE TO BAKE!!!! i hate it! you have to pay attention while putting the ingredients together. you have to use lots of bowls and pans. and the mixer for goodness sake. i hate cleaning that thing. then you have to pay attention while the thing bakes. paying attention isn’t a gift i was bequeathed. i was too busy in the line getting seconds of self confidence. i can rock the heck out of any meal you might want, but baking….i don’t wanna! in addition to the aforementioned reasons, my baked goods are never pretty. i put all of that effort into the process and the end product is crap. yummy, but ugly (maybe i can start my own line of baked goods. i’d get someone else to do the actual baking though, because I HATE TO BAKE!
yesterday, i happened to mention my dilemma on facebook. my kind friends were so helpful to paste websites to my wall. allie and joanna left http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/2010/11/johns-birthday-suit.html. the website is photos of “professional” pastry chef’s products gone wrong.
jballz offered her talents. i mean that girl has some serious talent.
most others just told me that they’d like a cake and in what way they’d like the bug’s request to be tweaked.
my baking isn’t awful or professional enough to be memorialized. it’s just plain old ugly
in case you can’t read the m&m’s it says happy 10th.
the bug came home from school, took one look at it, and said “well it’s not the prettiest looking thing i’ve ever seen, but it smells good.”
thank you son of mine. a walking advertisement for why I HATE TO BAKE!