we LOVE halloween here. i mean LOVE IT! so we were disappointed when the bug said he didn’t think that he would be trick or treating this year.
the back story:
there is a house in our hood that has popcorn and hot cider for trick or treaters and their parents. for the last two year there has been a guy that sits in a chair with a bowl of candy on his lap. it looks like a dummy, but when you go for candy he grabs you. the bug is not a fan. the first year he went running, screaming up the hill to our house. last year the bug stood behind stubby hubs hunk. the guy came up to the bug and the bug freaked. i’m going to error on the side of common sense and say that maybe the walking dead guy remembered the bug from the prior year and wanted to let him know he was a regular guy. because, what kind of cruel bastard would go after the one kid in the bunch that was clearly not into him?
so, starting in august, the bug was preparing us for the fact that he would not be going out this year. i tried to take the pressure off by saying, that it was no big deal and he could stay home and hand out candy with me. it seemed to have worked because about a month ago, he changed his mind. he knew just what he wanted to be. after an exhaustive one line search he found what he was looking for. drum roll….a special ops officer. i tried to council him to go with a large because he is a tall kid. he assured me that a medium would suffice. after much panicking that the costume wouldn’t arrive in time (even though i assured him, because of a tracking number, that it would be coming well before the necessary date) the costume arrived. i was working and looked up to find him in the jump suite part of the costume. he needed me to fasten the velcro on the back……in short mommy was right….again. we should have gone with a large. lets’ just say that this jump suite didn’t leave ANYTHING to the imagination. he could have just as easily been dressing up as a ballet dancer. the thing was SNUG. what’s tighter than snug? nut hugging? to make matters worse, i think he had a pair of shorts on underneath the jump suit. so we made some small changes to the costume. if you hear on the wind that his bottoms are his mothers leggings, you have heard wrong….that’s my story and i’m sticking to it.
later that evening he popped his head out of his room and asks if we heard that clicking. “nope”, we say. he goes back in and tries again. “how about now?”
us: “oh, yeah, what is that?”
with a sheepish grin he steps out of his room proudly holding the holy grail. the special ops costume came with a gun. bright orange, but a gun none the less. see, we don’t do guns. the kid is almost 10 and this is the first gun he has had.
obviously i didn’t read the fine print when ordering the costume. he must have though he had pulled quite the coupe as the submit button was being hit for that purchase.
so what did i realize in all of this? a boy will wear ANYTHING, if it means he can carry a gun.E