obscene finger gestures

so, while i would say i am absolutely a coffee snob, i also realize that it is the necessary oil that gets, my motor going in the morning. this is the down side of the french press.  it’s not big enough.  for two people.  ours is the biggest i could find and it only makes 3 big cups of coffee.  this means who ever makes the coffee usually gets the second cup.  i may need to remind you how much i love sleep, so this is a major dilemma.  do i go for the extra minutes of sleep or do i bound out of bed to ensure the second cup of coffee?  

yesterday i chose sleep. i came downstairs and stubs is sitting at the kitchen table reading the paper having happily consumed his first cup. so not only am i regretting my choice, he is a cup ahead of me so he’s hopping.  i always have a hard time finding the funny before coffee.  he really should know this…sigh…but he is a boy.  so i pull a me, and i poor my cup to the rim.  it’s the perk of taking my coffee with out cream (i like my coffee sweet and black…like my soul).  it’s so full i have to lean in.  it’s what we in the business call a sipper. stubs isn’t amused, making it very funny to me.  he says….BITCH.   hmmm, wow….yeah i bet you wanna take that back right about now.  all halts as the bug comes into the room.  i get my cup to a manageable level and walk out of the room.  i’m at the top of the steps to the rumpus room (no longer known as such due to the dreaded quilt.  until said project is complete i will be referring to it as the dungeon.)  i turn back and find the stubs looking at me.  i’m a room away so i throw him the finger.  it felt so good.  i do it again. euphoria! so i put my cup on the dining room table and give him the double piston middle finger. yahoo!  i’m winding up to give him the one handed Pete Townsend when i hear a little voice. 

 “i can see you,”it says. 

gulp, “what honey?”  

“I can see you, mommy.” 

it’s the bug. first things first.  

“how?”  

“i can see your shadow.”  

“wow, really?  what am i doing?” 

 “giving daddy the middle finger…..a lot.”  

yeah, well there goes the mother of the year award…again.  i was so close to it this year too.  

oh well, i don’t really feel like having my house get hit by lightening anyway. which is surely what would happen if i hadn’t had one major f-up a year (who am i kidding i can’t get through the week.)

e

8 responses to “obscene finger gestures”

  1. gregj

    Sometimes the little things just make us feel much better. No words needed, just a simple sign.

    I wonder who invented it. They’d be quite rich if they had copyrighted it.

    My wife (I can’t think of a good name to use for her) has this humongous cup that she, too fills to the brim, while I use a regular cup so it won’t get cold before I consume it all. After her attack on the pot, I usually have to make more. None of that fancy frenchie stuff for us. I’m sure I’d wear it if I had to press it. I just use a Kmart $15.95 special.

    Enjoy your caffeinated day, EH, explaining things to the Bug.

  2. A. T. Itude

    “Ability is what you’re capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it”…… Coach Lou Holtz

    Nice ‘tude.

  3. EH Shuba

    oooooh put me in coach!

  4. EH Shuba

    thanks greg i do feel better.  yeah i got some splainin to do have a good one

  5. Jill D

    You. are. Sugarmommma.

  6. EH Shuba

    thanks jillybean xxx

  7. Joan

    Damn, I wish I had known….

  8. EH Shuba

    i’m sure i would have lost it somewhere else eventually.  i just lamented it’s loss then because i had only had it for a month or so.  oh and sorry about ruining the foot licking….kinda

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