sadness is fleeting

so, sometimes, not very often, i wake feeling self sorry.  it takes three i am goods, just to get out of bed in the morning.  not that i ever bound out of bed and greet the day with open arms, but i usually embrace the fact that i am lucky to have another day.  this belief is strengthened by subsequent cups of hot sweet coffee.  only then do i rush toward what the day holds.  

today was a self sorry day.  i managed to get coffee and the kids breakfast.  didn’t make lunch for those poor kids of mine and didn’t get three miles in before my work out.  as i’m running my one mile that i had time for, it seems that every song that would drag my mood to a darkened place came on the ipod.  good thing the allergies were my excuse for the runny eyes.  then i look up and i see stubby hubs hunk across a crowded gym.  he’s dressed from head to toe in red…and he’s all mine.  yep, this goofy, lanky, sweet, loving dude all in red is mine.  it put it all into perspective.  sometimes when we are disappointed in people we need to pull back and reevaluate the big picture.  yeah, that person isn’t who i thought they were, but let’s take stock in those people who are and have only ever loved me just the way i am.  yeah i don’t always think before i talk, but if i did, the message would be the same, it just wouldn’t be so direct.  i may come across as flippant to some, but honestly that has more to do with them than me.  it’s being called a liar that hurts the most, because i know my faults and that’s just not one of them.  in order to have ulterior motives you have to have a plan.  i operate in life from my gut. no plan there.   so what did i learn?  i learned, that i need to be careful (good luck with that one).  i learned that what some people may view as a criticism of me, is the same thing that others find endearing about me.  that’s not even the big lesson.  i can’t let other people temper my passion for what is important to me….so i won’t.  i don’t need to make it right with the one that hurt me.  i just needed to be reminded of who i really am…and for that, i thank the man in red.  

i thank anyone else who sent sweet words in the last couple of days.  

i fall hard…but i only bounce once, then hit the ground running again.  

thanks,

e

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