i have a theory. if too many people are happy in the same home, it disturbes a balance in the force.
case in point:
the storm of the century was due to hit last night at 6pm. the snow never came. when the kids got up this morning there was a two hour delay. then we got the news….school was cancelled. the bug, who is normally a pretty even tempered person, jumped off of his bar stool and shouted with glee. the heavens parted and the air was filled with the glorious music of trumpeting angels. ok, i took it a bit far, but you get the picture. the bug informs us that he really just needs a day to lay low. oh, the horrors of 10 year old-dom. never mind that they haven’t had a full week of school since i last shaved my legs (translation: a long time).
i decide i’ll hit market before the roads get too ugly. i’ve been carrying the empty glass milk bottles in my car for over a week. it’s smells worse in there than any dutch oven that stubby hubs hunk has ever lovingly created for me. so, i made my way to town (that makes it sound like i live on little house on the prairie. yeah, let’s go with that image). once i got out of my neighborhood, the roads weren’t that bad. ice is a sticky situation. you never know what’s happening on the road. i pull into my favorite parking lot, loving the fact that i am one of three cars there, and i can park ANYWHERE. i go for my wallet…..and then remember the internet purchase i had made the night before. i can see my pretty red wallet on the table in our bedroom. i can hear the echo of my own voice reminding me to make sure i put it in my purse this morning. SON OF A KRISPY CREAM EATING HORN DOG! i pull up to the sweet man in the booth and explain that i’ll be right back….i promise. i can’t pay for the twenty seconds i have parked here because i have no money (this being extremely heart breaking because i had just watched “the parking lot movie”. it’s a documentary….about life in a parking lot. it’s great. you should see it. no, i am in no way endorsed by the creators of “the parking lot movie”.) he, very kindly, let me go. of course, i’m not sure what they do if you don’t have money for a parking lot. it’s not like you can wash dishes or anything.
i drove home, admittedly not as carefully. i grab my wallet and head back to town. mission accomplished.
i just hope that the next time the heavens open and we hear angels it’s for me….gah!
while i understand the need for a balance in the force, i will being making a dinner to show my displeasure that the winds of fortune did not smile on me today. it’s S.O.S. (that’s shit on a shingle, or creamed chipped beef on toast for those of you classier folk.) i may not have had a great day, but i will have the last laugh.