Every once in a while I take a good hard look at myself. Not in the existential kind of way. I mean I actually look at myself and see what others are seeing. Right then and there….sigh…
Allow me to paint the picture. It was pitch black outside this morning. As I stood at the door having let one, two, three dogs out, I caught my reflection in the storm door. It begins with my orange ugg slippers. Next, come the the yellow pj bottoms with snowflakes on them. Then, there is about two feet of green. That’s the nightie that I wore to bed to. Anything more and I would flood the bedroom with my over-active pores. Night sweats are stupid. Then there is the pj top. It doesn’t matter the color or design because in the dark of our bedroom I managed to put it on inside out. Topped with a mountain of wild hair and…wait for it….sunglasses.
To the lonely jogger who caught a glimpse of me as I let the dogs out…I promise I am semi-normal. I know I probably looked like the bride of Frankenstein, dressed by a two year old, struggling through a hangover, but I do function rather well in society.
To my lovely friends who had such kind things to say about my recent profile picture on Facebook…I don’t want to scare you off, but I don’t know who that person is. This is the real me. The good news is, you can keep me around to make sure you are NEVER the goofiest person in the room.
Now excuse me while I go perform the laborious work of making myself much less scary.