if some one asked you to define yourself what would you say? oh, better yet, would you be happy with the answer? if it all ended tomorrow, can you say you have lived life well?
though i often joke about being perfection personified, i know there is always room to grow. the way i attempt to foster that growth is to ask myself those questions. if i don’t like the answers, i know where i have work to do.
how do i define myself? i am a mother, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a friend. in that order. today, what needs work? who is calling to me with the greatest need? my kids will always come first. they are my job. they are the only job that i have never wanted to quit, at least not for longer than it takes me to metabolize a nice big glass of wine.
oh stubby hubs hunk! ours is the life of ease. that there is someone out there that looks at me the way he does, is a miracle. he chose me (let it be said that i did some serious arm twisting, but man, i saw what i wanted and had to make him mine.). me?! i’m the girl with the bruise tattoo. need i say more? it’s my job to make sure that no matter how far i fall, i can work things back so that he looks at me like that again.
as for my parents and siblings, i remain grateful. i am reminded that, just because you are related, there are no guarantees of affection. i guess we owe to our parents that we all really like each other…most of the time.
friendship is probably the most tenuous relationship for me. the hardest part is finding people who aren’t too needy. because, after i tend to all of those other relationships, my friendships should be easy. unfortunately, sometimes you don’t know the depth of someone’s need until they already have their hooks in you. i don’t mean that i’m an unwilling shoulder. i’m referring to those people who are always in crisis. who will suck your marrow if you let them. sorry, but my greatest parts belong to my family and what’s left belongs to friendship.
what am i? i’m a writer. a writer, who is lucky enough to have a wealth of experience, due to the people in my life to draw from. some people see their lives in pictures. i see mine in words. there is great evocative power in words. i write because it helps me to better understand myself. often times, my own words help me work through a bump in my life. my poetry, is a release. i’m not a crier. i weep in words. i laugh in words. i hate in words. i am grateful for this gift. i am even more grateful for this forum to share them.
i am thankful!
have i lived my life well? i can only assume that i must being doing something right.
no one could be this lucky.