for as long as i can remember the goose has had an ample helping of jealousy for the bug. i remember nursing him as a newborn and she would squeeze behind me in the chair. she’d start with a little neck rub, that would turn to more of a pinching. it was my (not yet ) two year old telling me in the only way she could that she was none too happy with the way things had changed in the house. i did my best to ignore it, the pinching i mean. i would try to play with her when i nursed him so she still felt involved. the bug had colic so multi tasking wasn’t always easy.
most of her warblings come from an incident that was fueled for her seeming hatred of him. she says she feels physically ill when she’s around him sometimes. i found myself thinking that maybe the sometimes is just day 18. her father is a mouth breather too and there are days when i mant to duct tape the hole right up. especially when he’s having coffee in the morning, and he makes that slurping noise….but i digress.
we were in the car today and she asked me why i thought she hated the bug. i told her that i didn’t think she hated him. i thought she was jealous of him. she admitted that she did think that i loved him more than i loved her.
this was my response:
i don’t love either of you more than the other. i just love you differently. she looked confused and doubtful. i went on. it’s like he is my hearing and you are my sight. i couldn’t live with out either of you. she was quick to correct me. ok i could live with out my hearing or my sight, but i wouldn’t be the same person. she proceeded to tell me that she would rather loose her sight i told her that she couldn’t drive or paint. she changed her mind, she rather loose her hearing. i reminded her that she could hear music or laughter.
i think she got what i was saying but wasn’t buying it.