the bug

so the bug….mmmmm, my one and only boy.  we had a hard time getting the love affair going, but once we did, it’s just kept getting better and better.  he was a baby with colic.  this was before they gave babies heart burn medicine.  he would scream, nurse, explode, and scream some more.  his tiny body would vacillate between a tight little ball and arms and legs out taunt stretched and stiff.  it felt like he never slept.  i was so tired and sad, i would have put him back in my uterus just to gain some sanity.  that’s saying a lot because i am a short waisted 5’3″ who at my critical mass had to take running starts to get up into bed.  he stopped screaming when he was two months.  he smiled at me for the first time shortly there after and i was brainwashed of all that came before.  he was still a difficult baby, but i could read him better now.  he turned two years old and he became the soul that i have fallen in love with.  it seems he found his voice.  the funny thing is once he found his voice, he never stopped talking.  he gets hung up on subjects and will talk about them all day, until he finds his next passion.  it’s cool, but he’s not the kind of kid you can nod and say umhum, cause he’s asking questions too.  you can’t just give any old answer either.  it has to be based in fact, because he remembers everything and LOVES to “inform” those around him. i learned the hard way with the question what makes people fart, to never give him a cheeky answer, because the boy doesn’t get cheek.  fast forward to the present.  he’s nine now.  i come out of the bedroom to find him brushing his teeth fully clothed. this means that he has been up for at least an hour, warming his engines.  i say good morning and then run away before he can start fireing questions at me.  he follows be downstairs and starts in with “did you sign the band form? how about the field trip form?” see, he’s a rule follower. the goose’s folder is six inches thick and the only reason i know that anything has been sent home is because the bug has given me his stuff.  this is the same kid who came downstairs the morning of picture day with a button down shirt and a tie on, all of his own volition (i think she wore a pillow case that she had turned into a swing jacket).  but back to this morning. 

i say, bug, what am i doing?  

bug: making coffee. 

me:what does that mean?

 bug:you haven’t had coffee.  

me:what’s the rule? 

bug: no questions before mommy has coffee.  

so he just stands there doing the pee pee dance waiting for me to have a sip.  the hot nectar of the heavens hasn’t even hit the back of my mouth when he starts in.  i take a deep breath and answer them all.  a rule’s a rule.  

i am just amazed that we made a kid that’s just like stubby hubs hunk, pee pee dance and all. 



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