1) even when they swear they won’t, people talk.
2) in that game of “what animal would you be” I’d be a falcon. I can’t say I’m altogether proud of this fact but it does seem to be on the mark.
3) there is something pathological about a girl who plays with their hair too much.
4) sadness at being short at a show is only compounded when standing near a perpetual farter.
5) Frank Turner burned the stage up. At least he sounded like Frank, I could only see the blonde obsessive hair flipper in front of me.
6) after 40 years of a disaster for a GI system my diagnosis…”torturous colon”. Tell me something I didn’t know.
7) I have a crush on my gastroenterologist. He’s cute AND he laughs at my poop jokes.
8) Ashton Kutcher can’t act.
9) despite the fact that she can’t hear, can hardly see, and has potent gas that you can taste, I love my Juju.
10) peri menopause is a douche.
And one to grow on:
I am forever in search of the perfect drinking vessel. It has to have good hand feel. Has to be big. Can’t be too heavy. Must be pleasing to the eye. I have a multitude of water bottles because you can’t really be sure of a vessel fitting the criteria without a test drive. When it comes to a cup you can’t do this til you take it home.
I HAD the perfect coffee cup. Old red. He was a fine cup. Like most good things I can’t keep them for long. Old red came to an end on the garage floor. I spent the next couple of days in search of a replacement. What I found is that cups either have flowers or dumb saying on them. I love flowers. I’m already covered in them so it probably seems counterintuitive but I don’t like flower coffee cups. And I don’t put bumper stickers on my car so I’m certainly not looking to be clever on my cup. My nightmare would be being out and about, consuming my first cup of coffee and have said cup illicit a conversation. “Good friend+good book=good day”. Are you kidding me? I HATE sentence equations AND those things don’t even go together. So I went with the lesser of evils.
She’s not perfect, but I’m hoping to ignore the ways in which she doesn’t fit the bill. While she is covered in hibiscus, she can hold an entire French press. It’s kinda like a pretty girl with a bad hair cut. If her teeth were bad it’d be a deal breaker, but considering what’s on my head…..I can over look the other.