1) it seems brushing your teeth before the orthodontist is optional….gross.
2) I can hold my breath for a good 34 seconds when I’m in a waiting room of people coughing.
3) a teenage girl becomes paralyzed and incapable of speech when she sees a boy from school.
4) even though Amazon owns zappos, zappos sounds like a better place to work.
5) the dmv is rife with fabulous people watching.
6) pendot does not take cash….no cash ?!
7) child clean is in the same realm as man clean.
8) never leave you iPad open at the mean cup or you will get help writing a blog entry.
9) prince has just the right amount of guitar solos.
10) I am going to invent a kissing silencer.
And one to grow on:
I hate being a jerk to my kids. Sometimes you have to put aside being their parents and let the frustration that they have caused you bleed through. When we have a shared space and the goose leaves it in disarray for me to find the next morning, my head nearly explodes. I cursed her under my breath. I only have so much time in the morning. I did my best to maintain some sense of control but there was egg on the window. On the flipping window I say. I mean who likes to be awakened by a ranting mad woman. But my madness was not self inflicted. So rant I did. Then I made her cry. Then I texted her from work to tell her I love her. Then I saw an article in the paper that there was an accident that killed 4, involving motorcycles and an SUV. Never leave the house mad.