do you have a “side” of the bed? i think most married couples do. i laid claim to my side as it is always the one closest to the bathroom. i want to be able to take the least amount of steps for my one maybe two trips in the night. through a careful time test study i have determined that one can stay asleep and successfully pee if the toilet is less than ten steps away from the bed.
on a recent trip away with my mother we shared a bed for one of the nights. i climbed in on the side furthest away from the bathroom, thinking i was being a dutiful child. it was late. much wine had been consumed and much cards had been played. she walked into the room. she said what side does stubby hubs hunk usually sleep on? that’s code for you’re on my effing side of the bed. i got up and moved, because i want her to like me best. i slept like a baby. truth be told i would have slept perfectly well anywhere that night.
when we got home from the trip, i asked stubby hubs hunk if he had slept on my side like he said he was gong to. he said he thought he’d try, but some how, every night he just ended up on his side.
we don’t spend that many nights apart, but on the few that i have had in our bed to myself, i sleep right in the middle. the middle of a king size bed, for a person of my stature, is like an ocean. i wake up spread eagle. like i’ve been in goal all night, trying to be as big as i can, not letting anything past me. surrounded by animals, which stubs won’t allow when he’s home.
it got me thinking…this notion of people sleeping in the same bed is a strange one. i’m not about to go ozzie and harriet and get two beds or anything,but it is tempting. when we travel together we always get a room with two beds. it’s makes it more difficult to nudge him when he snores, but that aside, i always sleep like a baby.
maybe it’s the movies. the scenes where the loving couple cuddle and pillow talk and then fall asleep in each other’s arms. no, thank you. i’ll talk. on a good day i might hold his hand while watching tv, but bed is meant for sleep. i can’t be getting mines, with him up up in my grill. luckily, i don’t think he really wants to face to face with my grill anyway.
so, young lovers, this is the recipe for a long life together. find a side, stay on your side, and don’t come looking for any sweets while your lady sleeps.