my cousin mary has been a constant in my life. she is 6 months my junior. growing up she was sweet, and gentle, and grounded. i was loud, and bossy, and a whirling dervish. NOTHING has changed.
our lives together ran in tangents. we weren’t in school together and didn’t go to the same pool. but, we were thick as thieves on holidays and would always have a sleep over later that night. we were always invited to each other’s birthday parties.
one specific birthday holds fond memories of mary. it was my 13 birthday. like all super cool 13 year olds i was having a bowling party. like few chosen super dorks no one came….except mary. lest you think me too much a spazz, i will say that my party fell on the same night as one of the first school dances of the year and the promise of dancing with boys trumped bowling…some how.
so, picture two lanes reserved at the alley, one for mary and me and one for my brother and parents. yep, that was me, ringing in another year in style. saying good bye to my youth with two lanes at a bowling alley.
while i probably freak whenever i have a party because it may be a reenactment of that birthday, i can’t help but admit that we had fun. mary and i bowled our hearts out. we went back to my house and had a great night talking. things took a usual turn later that night. it should be known that i’m a ruiner of things. it’s a byproduct of being a whirling dervish. mary was waiting patiently for me up in bed while i made a pitcher of tang for us. i can’t begin to tell you why, i brought the whole pitcher up to my room, but as i was flopping onto the bed, the pitcher exploded….all over mary. i think once the shock wore off she may even have giggled. because that’s the kind of person she is. easy going, sorta, and forgiving. but most importantly, always there.
every year, for generations, the woman of my family have gotten together to make sand tarts for christmas. i have clear memories of my mother, my grandmother and her mother and my aunts making them while we ran in and out of the kitchen as kids. now mary and i make them with our mothers, sisters, daughters, and nieces. there was much talk about relationships this year. mostly how we relate to our mothers, but also the kind of woman our grandmother and great grandmother were. mary’s mother, my aunt was talking about how classy her mother was and how “strong” her grandmother was. we joked that it must skip a generation. i realize that the same works laterally. what i mean is that mary is one classy lady and i say what ever i think. it works for us. it is who were are, and we can appreciate each other for the ways were are different and for the sameness that is our history.
thanks for a great weekend mary!
i love youE