so, i will not be told what to do. i’d like to be more laid back, but it’s just not in my genetic make-up. i think i believed that as i got older an more mature (yeah right), i would grow out of it. not so much so. so i did what any self serving narcissist would do. i married a doormat. just in case he reads this (which he won’t cause he informed me that he sees me every day and knows all this already. phew.) i will follow that comment by saying he was a really nice, cute, and loving doormat…..or so i thought.
Browse: Home / you're not the boss of me
By admin on January 11, 2010
fast forward 15 years….come to find out he was bossing me around in his head the whole time. through a series of experimental attempts he realized the world wouldn’t end if he put me in my place……i want my money back….nobody puts f-tard in the corner!
some of my favorites: he LOVES to tell me where to park. this extends to driving in general. he thinks he’s got some super x-ray vision that allows him to see cars coming or sweet parking spots that i, as the driver, some how miss. that’s a REALLY big blind spot. the interesting thing is when he’s not in the car i seem to be able to view my surroundings quite well. now i don’t have the super powers he has, but i think i’ve deduced that they come with a penis. to be honest, i’m good with “regular” vision and peeing sitting down.
we have a pretty traditional home life. i do the shopping and cooking. feel free to call me queen of the hood…everyone does. that said he loves to periodically do a refrigerator audit. some times this just ends in him telling me what’s in there. sometimes he gets a wild hair and goes about throwing things away. i’m not sure what moves him to do this. he can ignore the spots on the bathroom floor where he has “missed” with no problem, but god forbid that we have had spinach in there for more than 3 days. these things i can just nod to and say yes dear. what i CAN NOT abide is when he takes things out of the fridge and puts them on the counter as a non-verbal suggestion of what i should make for dinner. serenity now!
truth be told i wouldn’t trade him for the world but it has occurred to me recently that i married my mother. great a woman with a penis, just what i needed.